i already miss summer, and its been a day since fall got here.
(this is not what i do. its the wrong kind of place
to be thinking of you.)
i don't remember what its like to feel on top
of things. i'm under
a pile. a mess. a future
i clearly can't handle or motivate myself to manage.
what determines the potential of my day?
my nieveity will keep me warm--
i don't believe in winter. it can't snow on me.
i'm not who i was and won't be who i thought,
where the past meets an unprotected heart
and the future can't reach beyond my guards.
you, and everything that means
could never weaken these knees
again. and again
(this is not what i do. its the wrong kind of place
to be thinking of you.)
i don't remember what its like to feel on top
of things. i'm under
a pile. a mess. a future
i clearly can't handle or motivate myself to manage.
what determines the potential of my day?
my nieveity will keep me warm--
i don't believe in winter. it can't snow on me.
i'm not who i was and won't be who i thought,
where the past meets an unprotected heart
and the future can't reach beyond my guards.
you, and everything that means
could never weaken these knees
again. and again
i want to fall into something dark
to deceive myself into feeling
what i won't.
i should be stronger than wishing
for the worst,
and this is still what i do to feel
worth more.
again and again.
we say the just right
to get the just want
and i will believe you every time without
protest. i know as well as you do
our truth is relative.
and we relate
wait,
to fall into the places we've been standing
around
to be in.
