because it's the day i stop avoiding the future.
today i realized the grad school of my dreams has my masters program.
somewhere in between "yeah right" and "you can do anything you put your mind to"
i decided:
I'm going to apply.
Mr. Forbes is right: the worst they can do is say no.
but if they say yes...
well..
I might die before I actually get there.
Here's to God and the crazy things He wants for us.
today i realized the grad school of my dreams has my masters program.
somewhere in between "yeah right" and "you can do anything you put your mind to"
i decided:
I'm going to apply.
Mr. Forbes is right: the worst they can do is say no.
but if they say yes...
well..
I might die before I actually get there.
Here's to God and the crazy things He wants for us.
just picnicking at work. NBD.
when great songs don't have great videos.
was really great.
54 hits in one day
(almost 2000 total).
Popped some tags for some great new kicks.
Met with the best boss at Union College (ashley barber. i don't want her to go.)
Saw Yowit hoop.
Had picnics all over the place.
Fixed things.
54 hits in one day
(almost 2000 total).
Popped some tags for some great new kicks.
Met with the best boss at Union College (ashley barber. i don't want her to go.)
Saw Yowit hoop.
Had picnics all over the place.
Fixed things.
Found gold.
Had lunch with George Foreman.
Skyped the ones that are really far.
And best of all..
200 is about to be HISTORY.
God. Answers. Prayer.
I'm exhausted.
The pile of things to be done stands taller than I ever will.
I don't remember what it's like to not hate being outside
or second guess what anyone tells me.
Friends have grown blurry and clear in opposite directions.
16 years of schooling and I still can't manage time.
I get excited about silly things, like going to target and new shampoo.
I don't like anything I have to read.
I don't let God be my crutch
because it's too easy and life is about struggle,
as if I need something else to kill myself fighting.
Lies would be unnecessary if we were more confidant.
More realistic.
More accepting.
I am the only person getting in the way of the number I want to be
and the hardest thing to do is tell myself to step aside.
I can't commit to anything:
that costs more than $10.
that I decide to wear in the morning.
that is more than a day away.
and the more time I spend away from the beach,
the longer i'll want to stay when i get there.
this is what winter does to me:
it freezes a haze over
the things I should stay away from the most
and the things I should hold on to for survival.
The pile of things to be done stands taller than I ever will.
I don't remember what it's like to not hate being outside
or second guess what anyone tells me.
Friends have grown blurry and clear in opposite directions.
16 years of schooling and I still can't manage time.
I get excited about silly things, like going to target and new shampoo.
I don't like anything I have to read.
I don't let God be my crutch
because it's too easy and life is about struggle,
as if I need something else to kill myself fighting.
Lies would be unnecessary if we were more confidant.
More realistic.
More accepting.
I am the only person getting in the way of the number I want to be
and the hardest thing to do is tell myself to step aside.
I can't commit to anything:
that costs more than $10.
that I decide to wear in the morning.
that is more than a day away.
and the more time I spend away from the beach,
the longer i'll want to stay when i get there.
this is what winter does to me:
it freezes a haze over
the things I should stay away from the most
and the things I should hold on to for survival.
I hate you, Kanye. But I love you so much.
i just made this: www.marielawebdesign.com/flashgallery
"Because of indifference, one dies before one actually dies."-Ellie Wiesel
facebook statuses,
twitter updates,
text-message-reply-delays,
walk aways:
all to prove we don't care,
begging ourselves not to,
doing all we can to dodge the feeling
that we're weaker than expected
and
hurt.
not one of us is above
emotion,
intended to love,
sacrifice,
and be vulnerable to
pain.
because:
the most common guilt
is the revelation
that you cared farther than the
other,
should've been more
careful(less)
so as to not be the more
human
of the two.
and yet,
no one is the
only
to wake up to that
thing
pounding in their
chests
that disregards anything
above it.
I lie.
(I do care.
a lot.)
facebook statuses,
twitter updates,
text-message-reply-delays,
walk aways:
all to prove we don't care,
begging ourselves not to,
doing all we can to dodge the feeling
that we're weaker than expected
and
hurt.
not one of us is above
emotion,
intended to love,
sacrifice,
and be vulnerable to
pain.
because:
the most common guilt
is the revelation
that you cared farther than the
other,
should've been more
careful(less)
so as to not be the more
human
of the two.
and yet,
no one is the
only
to wake up to that
thing
pounding in their
chests
that disregards anything
above it.
I lie.
(I do care.
a lot.)
i can't imagine it summing everything up any better.
HibOO d'Scène : Mumford & Sons "White Blank Page" from Le-HibOO.com on Vimeo.
i'm traveling with mumford and sons. heart: changed.
else for the rest of my life...it would be Adele.
something's wrong with my back. muscle relaxers are not a joke.
i made friends at home. i think this summer might still be salvageable.
i have yet to register for classes. union is worried i might not come back.
i'm graduating in may. this causes me to dread my birthday.
i left my two most valuable possessions in Tennessee. Phone Charger. Curling Iron.
i got a great new pair of shoes. i'm in the phase where i pretend they're the only pair i own.
i spend hours on tumblr daily. i am that girl.
Macximus has changed my life. all memories of life and internet were reset last wednesday.
there is a five guys down the road. i know all their names, date of births, and social security numbers.
john the trainer has got me back on track. all it took was a hug.
i don't know what to do with myself when its hot outside. i miss nebraska.
i've never had a more uneventful break. its awesome.
i make people really great in my head. my singleness surprises me.
my blog hit 1,500 views yesterday, including Japan and Russia. NBD.
i am a great server. that will always be my backup plan.
my boss calls me Marismella. i call him Uncle Pauly G.
i'm the craziest mixture of the quiet one in the corner and the entertainer. name that disorder.
boom-boom chicka-chicka boom-boom isn't fun to teach. my family was not impressed.
i leave for nebraska on sunday. timing has never been more perfect.
i made friends at home. i think this summer might still be salvageable.
i have yet to register for classes. union is worried i might not come back.
i'm graduating in may. this causes me to dread my birthday.
i left my two most valuable possessions in Tennessee. Phone Charger. Curling Iron.
i got a great new pair of shoes. i'm in the phase where i pretend they're the only pair i own.
i spend hours on tumblr daily. i am that girl.
Macximus has changed my life. all memories of life and internet were reset last wednesday.
there is a five guys down the road. i know all their names, date of births, and social security numbers.
john the trainer has got me back on track. all it took was a hug.
i don't know what to do with myself when its hot outside. i miss nebraska.
i've never had a more uneventful break. its awesome.
i make people really great in my head. my singleness surprises me.
my blog hit 1,500 views yesterday, including Japan and Russia. NBD.
i am a great server. that will always be my backup plan.
my boss calls me Marismella. i call him Uncle Pauly G.
i'm the craziest mixture of the quiet one in the corner and the entertainer. name that disorder.
boom-boom chicka-chicka boom-boom isn't fun to teach. my family was not impressed.
i leave for nebraska on sunday. timing has never been more perfect.
