2 weeks post graduation:

I wish I had conquered the world by now but sadly,
I've conquered much smaller scales:
the center seat of the couch
the hundreds of new channels on our satellite network
the placement of lightswitches in a new house
the pulling into the correct driveway
the ability to plan every weekend for the next 2 months
the road to Target.

But despite the practice
many things remain unchecked:
how to answer the "what's next?"
how to be really alone a lot
how to love an island and hate everything about it
how to be home after not for so long
how to use my gas most efficiently
how to incorporate my iPhone into every aspect of my life
how to find my place among newly grad-ed
so as not to blend into the sea of indecision and futurelessness.

everyone seems to believe i'll "be fine"
but fine doesn't live here yet.
fine is a distant neighbor i've yet to borrow sugar from.
fine is in the neighborhood over, gated by
peace
complacency
acceptance.
(i can't even afford to drive up).

It's already Tuesday.
My tests are done,
and the only thing left
as an undergrad
college
student
is a silly
chalk
ice cream box.
I have to pack
clean up
shop
and "enjoy" what's left of my
relationship
with Union College
before we
break up
and are forced to move on.
I like to think that
SCAD
is the taller,
better looking
handsome
charmer
who's already in love with me
and will never treat me bad
because no one wants to move on
to something worse,
only to find out it's better to
wish
they could go back to what they
had.
The truth is,
Union will always have my
heart.
No one will measure up.
But
its not for a lack of trying that
everything
from here on
work
distance
adulthood
georgia

can't try its best to impress me
like i thought nebraska never would.