Lack of motivation,
a messy collage
or disorganized emotion,
lazy,
disgraceful,
a baggage loaded depiction
of a pretty face.

How has He created me
(designed,
crafted)
to define the need of
overcompensation,
despite the work done to
measure up
more than enough,
never enough.

I cried out to the One
whose idea this was,
created in His image,
disappointed without progress,
lacking vision beyond the moment,
despising what i see.

How am i to represent you, God
if you haven't done the same.
How am i to change the flaws
if you've kept the same mistakes.
How am i to ever love,
if in return is hate.

I cried out to You,
and despite my muffled
desperate
temporary
insincere
pleas for strength,
you've blessed
(in sight.
in faith.
in (true) beauty.)

and i've yet to know how
to have what i've wanted for
so long.