my nieveity will keep me warm--
i don't believe in winter. it can't snow on me.
i'm not who i was and won't be who i thought,
where the past meets an unprotected heart
and the future can't reach beyond my guards.
you, and everything that means
could never weaken these knees
again. and again

i want to fall into something dark
to deceive myself into feeling
what i won't.
i should be stronger than wishing
for the worst,
and this is still what i do to feel
worth more.
again and again.
we say the just right
to get the just want
and i will believe you every time without
protest. i know as well as you do
our truth is relative.
and we relate
wait,
to fall into the places we've been standing
around
to be in.