what would i do if i wasn't so scared?

i'd stay in lincoln.
i'd write a song about wanting to be cool
i'd sing it at graduation.
i'd make a PSA about my humanness,
my inability to commit or be serious.
i'd be the me that makes ben laugh with people that aren't ben.
i'd run in spandex.
i'd be the guy version of myself.
i'd be writing this from Greece.
or Italy.
or Miami.
i'd know without a doubt that SCAD is going to want me.
i'd have a plan B.
i'd have a(n impressive) dating history.
i'd be bald (or the socially acceptable version of it).
i'd have a closet full of clothes i actually like
not just what i think i can pull off.
my phone would never be on.
my hair would never be done.
my bucket list wouldn't exist.
(neither would this blog.)