At church I'm the rebel.
At work I'm the goody-goody.
To my coworkers I'm just a kid.
To my friends I'm an adult.
My trainer tells me I'm strong,
my scale tells me I'm weak.
The inside of my closet
and the outer layers of my skin are in a constant
battle
of who can be more
mature/fun/young/classic/fresh.
I refuse to change--
much less commit.
I stress things that define my progress
from a lost college student:
nail color
hair length
purse size
pant length.
And yet can't seem to decide on
what actually determines success:
permanent residence
resume quality
great credit
directions in any form-
I am not one to ask for them.
I am not one to ask for.
I am not one to ask.
(Never so lost)
I no longer know how to
be.
This is not another depressed blog post:
because it's friday night,
and every week leads to this
overwhelming moment of
disaster.
This is another person:
helpless to the pressure of
moving
while
staying completely still.
This is the worst possible place to be:
not left,
not right,
not up,
not down,
not great,
not horrible,
not satisfied,
not settling,
but in between.
At work I'm the goody-goody.
To my coworkers I'm just a kid.
To my friends I'm an adult.
My trainer tells me I'm strong,
my scale tells me I'm weak.
The inside of my closet
and the outer layers of my skin are in a constant
battle
of who can be more
mature/fun/young/classic/fresh.
I refuse to change--
much less commit.
I stress things that define my progress
from a lost college student:
nail color
hair length
purse size
pant length.
And yet can't seem to decide on
what actually determines success:
permanent residence
resume quality
great credit
directions in any form-
I am not one to ask for them.
I am not one to ask for.
I am not one to ask.
(Never so lost)
I no longer know how to
be.
This is not another depressed blog post:
because it's friday night,
and every week leads to this
overwhelming moment of
disaster.
This is another person:
helpless to the pressure of
moving
while
staying completely still.
This is the worst possible place to be:
not left,
not right,
not up,
not down,
not great,
not horrible,
not satisfied,
not settling,
but in between.
this is why i'm in love with advertising. this is why i'm obsessed with succeeding.