23.5 pounds.
More Mrs. Dash. More cabbage. More water.
The feeling of bad-assery is at an all-time high.
On Sunday, I get to eat cheese and peanut butter and GO TO HOT YOGA.
Also. CHEESE.
I can't believe I did it. In fact, I don't.
I believe some other person came and lived in my body and made unrealistic goals for the real me.
And then...proved that it can be done.
That self-control is hard, but not impossible.
That being accountable for your bad habits is humbling, but not degrading.
That admitting you need help because you've lost control is a part of bridging the gap between
here
and
where you'd rather be
and you can't get there until you do.
Turns out:
30 days is what it really takes to
change.
Really change.
More Mrs. Dash. More cabbage. More water.
The feeling of bad-assery is at an all-time high.
On Sunday, I get to eat cheese and peanut butter and GO TO HOT YOGA.
Also. CHEESE.
I can't believe I did it. In fact, I don't.
I believe some other person came and lived in my body and made unrealistic goals for the real me.
And then...proved that it can be done.
That self-control is hard, but not impossible.
That being accountable for your bad habits is humbling, but not degrading.
That admitting you need help because you've lost control is a part of bridging the gap between
here
and
where you'd rather be
and you can't get there until you do.
Turns out:
30 days is what it really takes to
change.
Really change.
It would appear
that when I have a bad day,
I revert to my 15 year old self.
Nothing seems to make things better like
high school music
and reruns of Will and Grace can.
(Yes. I was watching "grown-up" shows by the time
I lost my first set of molars.)
Like fate, Pandora reminded me of this gem
and it's days like this that I can't just listen to a
silly love song.
I make myself believe it.
Because I am the most beautiful girl in the world.
I am the most beautiful girl in the world.
The most.
Beautiful.
18 pounds down.
1 REALLY BIG cheat. But just one, and I'm ok with it.
Enough water to burn a considerable amount just walking back and forth to the bathroom.
Lots of Mrs. Dash. and So. Much. Cabbage.
10 days to go and hoping for (at least) 10 more pounds.
Just the other day
I was complaining
that I needed to go aaaalll the way
to the Toyota dealership
to get my maintenance check done.
As expected,
Junior is in perfectly good health.
And then,
Donnie and Junior kind of...met.
Leaving the mall yesterday,
I was harshly reminded of what
driving around town
used to be like:
How I used to head-butt when I hit 30mph,
how I'd hold my breath and turn the key
hoping today wasn't the day it didn't work.
Not to mention the sun-roofless roof,
the scary drives in the rain,
and lack of controlling cruise.
I am the epitome of a grown-up brat.
I loathe the chores that come with blessings,
ignoring the blessings completely.
10 pounds down.
0 cheats.
322 oz. of water.
101% sure I should buy stock in whoever makes Mrs. Dash spices.
0 cheats.
322 oz. of water.
101% sure I should buy stock in whoever makes Mrs. Dash spices.
of 30.
I'm crazy for committing to this.
When it gets really hard, I know i'll forget
I can do this.
I'm stronger than any situation not to be.
I owe this to myself.
I can do this.
I can.
And I will.
I'm crazy for committing to this.
When it gets really hard, I know i'll forget
I can do this.
I'm stronger than any situation not to be.
I owe this to myself.
I can do this.
I can.
And I will.
25 feels a lot like 24 but
more rebellious.
I stay up late,
I wear things that don't match,
I keep chocolate in my cupboards.
My hair-up days outnumber my clean-and-curled days.
I carry the same cognac leather bag with every. thing.
People under 25 feel worlds younger than me.
even if they're 24.
I've realized the amount of time I've already spent with myself
is nothing
compared to how much time I have left.
You would think it's common sense
and yet
I still haven't learned how to live with myself.
How to pick me,
what I need,
what I'm proud of,
what I most value,
before considering a compromise
and what that means for my progress.
I've spent the majority of these years
selflessly loving selfish things.
I'm behind on my fighting.
I'm fully grown
except for my backbone.
It's not 25 that's hard.
It's whatever distance of life it took to
be important to yourself.
I mean really. Today of all days. Really.
