“Teddy told me that in Greek, nostalgia literally means the pain from an old wound. It’s a twinge in your heart, far more powerful than memory alone. This device isn’t a spaceship, it’s a time machine. Goes backwards, forwards, and takes us to a place where we ache to go again. It’s not called ‘The Wheel,’ it’s called ‘The Carousel.’ It lets us travel the way a child travels, round and around and back home again, to a place where we know we are loved.” -Don Draper, Mad Men

and nights like these make me wonder:
if all the stuff i put on my face before bed will ever work
and i'll wake up with flawless skin
if my room will ever be clean again
or if i really am a firework and can ignite it and start over
if i'll ever find a team i love like a boyfriend
if i'll ever find....a boyfriend
if i'll ever not dread valentines day
if i'll make it into grad school
if i'll ever not start homework at 11:30pm
when i get to not be dead broke all the time
if there's a sign on my back that reads:"treat me like an idiot."
if spring is just something that was incepted
and when i won't have to wear boots
why my nails grow so fast
why my hair has been the same awkward length for months
when graduation won't make me nauseous
when i'll break 200
if i'll ever be on the road to spring break
and how does popcorn go from such tiny little ball
to a fluffy delicious snack-time treat.
but mainly i wonder:
why am i still awake.
why does morning come so fast.
why does anything happen before 11am.

is a conspiracy.

If you're wondering how I'm doing... click and read.