- I never EVER know what to wear to Crossfit
- and then I realize i'm still one of those girls that cares about what their sweat looks like
- oh yeah, it's sweat. meant to be gross.
- no one even understands what it's like to do high-knees with big boobs.
- also, FU BURPEES
- Just looked through the wedding album twice. because maybe the first time i missed that one flattering picture of me i can make a profile pic.
- nope. doesn't exist. not a one.
- i miss Luch. like so much. wow.
- i'm gonna be 25 in 3 months. can you say party time?
- this is where i make a new resolution to be at my best health by 25.
- how did we circle back to Crossfit already?
- praying for snow in Chattanooga is like hoping you catch your roommate's flu.
- i think it's weird when girls call their dad their valentine but mine got me legit flowers. so.
- basically F U VALENTINES DAY.
- (i really should've just gotten to the point much more....quickly)
Today I am
sore.
the perfect combination of proud
and discouraged.
both excited and dreading
my next round in the box.
ready to get to the part where
I see progress.
Today I am
driving "home"
where I drove away from
exactly 2 years ago
and only looked back a couple times.
Today I am
seeing my sister
and my favorite brother in law
and my favorite dogs,
all of which feel like a missing limb
I get to have back for the weekend.
Today I am
questioning
all the junk my feelings have led me to
hoard.
questioning what to keep
and what to purge,
and how i'll ever know the difference.
sore.
the perfect combination of proud
and discouraged.
both excited and dreading
my next round in the box.
ready to get to the part where
I see progress.
Today I am
driving "home"
where I drove away from
exactly 2 years ago
and only looked back a couple times.
Today I am
seeing my sister
and my favorite brother in law
and my favorite dogs,
all of which feel like a missing limb
I get to have back for the weekend.
Today I am
questioning
all the junk my feelings have led me to
hoard.
questioning what to keep
and what to purge,
and how i'll ever know the difference.
Cheesy love songs are only cheesy until you realize
they're not.
until someone calls you their angel
and really flipping means it.
and you choked up
(in every single way you could have)
because you don't know what the hell you're doing.
yup.
Happy Birthday, Dad.
You put too much faith in me.
You spend too much money on me.
You work too hard to make sure we're ok.
Someday, I'll be just as wise
and hopefully even half the parent you are.
but there's no other way to explain it.
Everything
(weddings,
the car accident that made things better,
weight battles,
my first apartment,
my first new car,
my first raise,
too many flings,
heartbreak,
the fourth of July,
Dollywood,
a solid birthday,
not even one holiday without family,
Bahamas!
angry texts,
all the sickness,
all the haircuts,
all the things i bought and never used,
the 5k that was actually easy,
(never enough) concerts,
lonely saturday nights,
lonely weekdays,
loneliness,
everything that hurt,
everything i dreaded,
the memories made with people i'd rather forget,
every spin class,
every Bang Wednesday,
every printed typo,
every morning I wanted to snooze indefinitely
because I forgot to keep searching for purpose,
the tears,
the sweat,
the exhaustion)
has lead to this moment--
understanding my worth and
choosing to fulfill it.
If I had to sum up 2013 into one word, it was the year of
growth;
not quite done straddling
but closer than ever to the end of the line
between young and adult.
(weddings,
the car accident that made things better,
weight battles,
my first apartment,
my first new car,
my first raise,
too many flings,
heartbreak,
the fourth of July,
Dollywood,
a solid birthday,
not even one holiday without family,
Bahamas!
angry texts,
all the sickness,
all the haircuts,
all the things i bought and never used,
the 5k that was actually easy,
(never enough) concerts,
lonely saturday nights,
lonely weekdays,
loneliness,
everything that hurt,
everything i dreaded,
the memories made with people i'd rather forget,
every spin class,
every Bang Wednesday,
every printed typo,
every morning I wanted to snooze indefinitely
because I forgot to keep searching for purpose,
the tears,
the sweat,
the exhaustion)
has lead to this moment--
understanding my worth and
choosing to fulfill it.
If I had to sum up 2013 into one word, it was the year of
growth;
not quite done straddling
but closer than ever to the end of the line
between young and adult.
In lieu of resolutions.
